Too Much Stuff

Too Much Stuff

I was in a warehouse-sized liquor store when it hit me. There was just too much product from which to choose.

Consider just one type of liquor: vodka. Now consider the various infusions and flavors of vodka that are being marketed: vanilla, sorbet light lemon, mango, passion fruit, pomegranate, cinnamon-sugar, wild honey, marshmallow, iced cake, caramel, whipped cream, amaretto, root beer, blueberry, cherry, citrus, coconut, cranberry, expresso, grape, green apple, orange, peach, pear, pineapple, raspberry, vanilla—oh, wait, I already said vanilla—cherry lime, watermelon, strawberry acai, tropical fruit, peach bellini—and that’s just the Smirnoff varieties! There were at least fifty other brands, many with their own selection of flavors—and then there are vodkas made with grain, vodkas made with potatoes, vodkas that are triple distilled, vodkas with hops, double strength vodkas.  A body is lucky to get out of the store with a bottle plain old vodka.

The infusion fad, which began with vodka, has now reached brown liquors. There are flavored rums, whiskeys, and scotches, each in many varieties as well as flavors. Peppermint-flavored rye whiskey or single-malt Orkney scotch? It’s just a matter of time.

It’s not quite as bad at the grocery store, but still at least twice I’ve come home with peanut butter with some sort of horrid honey mixed in.

Now, I don’t mind much if I wind up with crunchy when I wanted smooth, but the honey concoction is vile—and there are other potential traps as well—”natural,” low salt, low fat… I consider myself lucky when I wind up with plain old creamy peanut butter.

Now choice is well and good, but I think some concession should be made to help shoppers find the original product. If that were to happen we wouldn’t go home with whole wheat Triscuits, veggie-flavored Triscuits, sea salt Triscuits, Bloody Mary Triscuits. Sometimes we just want a plain old Triscuit.

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